Lament for the COVID Kids

This lament was composed by Haven Pastor Leah Martens as part of an exploration of lament that the Haven community has engaged in throughout the month of July 2020. Visit our YouTube channel to view three services held this month that consider the importance of lament in seasons of sustained crisis, and begin to practice it together.

Silence settles on the desolate landscape that was once a playground.
Fences and gates keep children and their grownups away.
Swings sit still, only rustled by the breath of breeze.
And structures meant to be climbed simply stand somberly:
Empty monuments to the mundane magic of play.

But what of the miniature hands and feet that used to scamper and climb here?
What of the myriad voices that had once rung out in cheerful cacophony?
“A child’s work is play” the important grownups have told every concerned parent.
But what kind of work is happening in a world where children cannot play?

What is the cost of a childhood confined?
Where lies the loss of laughter and love?
How can a tablet of metal and glass
Replace the hand of a best friend, clasped tight?

“This is the way to keep them safe”, we rightly say.
But what is safe about suffocation?
What is safe about social deprivation?
What is safe in homes that are not sanctuaries,
but dens of derision, violence, mediation?

“Kids are resilient” the important grownups say,
But none who speak these words have nurtured kids through this.
None have been the only arms that can hug a haunted child.
None have found themselves cast in a one-person show overnight,
Without rehearsal, now playing the part of parent, teacher, best friend, and therapist, too.

None have born witness to the collective trauma of a generation
Driven immediately into the digital arms they were only months ago being warned against.
None have seen a young population transition their work-play
Into texts and posts and online games and come out resiliently on the other side;
Still able to run and climb and read and carry on a coherent conversation.

None have seen the structures that once shaped a family’s life fall apart
And been left puzzling with the pieces that no longer fit together.
Kids may be resilient but what about those they rely on?
Are we resilient enough for this?

And what of the learning lost:
Classroom learning, choir room learning, cafeteria learning?
How will the chasms be closed?
Or will this simply remain a continual casualty;
The curse of the Covid Kids?

Oh my dear children, whom I nurtured in my very body,
How I wish I could draw you back into myself,
Keeping you close and held in the shelter of my being
As you await your emergence.
How I wish I could expand to be enough for you to inhabit
In a way that would comfort and care for you as you develop and grow.

But stretch as I might, you are beyond me.
My womb is not wide enough,
My frame is not strong enough,
My breasts are not full enough
To nourish you with all that you now need.

So I must simply sit here with you
In all the questions that can’t be answered
And all the fears that might be realized.
I will sit with you and speak
Of online games and butterflies.
And I will hold you here, both as you cry and as you sing.
I will accompany you as my Divine Parent accompanies me.

Praying that Spirit breathes on you in the place that still lives free:
That wild imagination that is yet untamed and sweet.
Perhaps this is the hope of a child’s resiliency:
The capacity to dream of a world that might yet someday be.

COVID-19 UPDATE: It's Time to Go Fully Virtual

Join the Zoom Conversation this morning: Sunday, March 15th at 10:30 am as we worship, pray, and process the week and where we go from here. Link to the Zoom call, as well as phone numbers to call in if you prefer, can be found here. Or just watch the livestream on Facebook Live.

Haven friends, the time has come to clearly say it. We need to take a break from meeting in person. Beginning this week, we’re going to suspend in-person Haven Sunday gatherings, in an effort to help slow the spread of COVID-19 which is continuing across the globe and is certainly quite active in the Bay Area.

This isn’t something our leadership does lightly. As you saw just a couple of days ago, throughout the week we had been making plans to try to gather as safely as possible. But a lot has changed in even 24 hours (let alone in the last week), and all of us need to be ready to change and adapt to the hour-by-hour developments. To me, this week has felt like an escalating communal awareness of the growing gravity of our collective situation. It’s a lot to take in. It’s a lot to process. As a pastor, the thing I long to do when I feel unstable and uncertain and like the world might blow apart is to gather with other people of faith - with you, my Haven family whom I love - and worship. But that’s also the thing that we are learning is the most risky to do right now, even with all of the careful preparations we could make.

Our new Haven Zoom reality.

So it’s time for a new plan. Berkeley Unified Schools are closing into early April at least, and they have also cancelled all rental agreements indefinitely. I don’t know when it will be safe for us to gather again at Washington Elementary, but to be real: it could be awhile. Last night a number of Haven leaders took time to talk (virtually) and discern a strategy for going forward. Though this is all new territory, I feel hopeful that we can navigate the change. In uncertain times like this, we know we need spiritual community more than ever, so let’s find a way to adapt.

Thankfully, as much as technology can be problematic, at this moment it is also really helpful, and many of us will likely be leaning on tech and adapting to new ways of virtually connecting in all kinds of spheres. Here at Haven, we’re envisioning beginning a virtual Sunday service that takes place twice a month (for as long as these measures are necessary) and includes a version of the major elements of our in-person service: some musical worship, a sermon, and a time for conversation. Using Zoom meeting technology, there is even space for breakout conversation groups, not too different than the conversation clusters we have on Sundays.

All of this is doable, but to be real, it’s also a lot of logistics to figure out on our end. And so we’re choosing to take a breath and give ourselves permission to take the time we need and make the adjustments we need to. We will not have a full virtual service up and running this Sunday. However, I would like to make time to have an informal virtual community conversation for all who are able to join us this Sunday, 3/15, at the regular Haven time (10:30 am). We will do this through a Zoom meeting (log-in or call in information is here). During the meeting, we’ll have a chance to talk together about what the vision for this season might look like. We’ll also have a chance for folks to process how heavy the week has been, what we’re concerned about, and what we need right now. No doubt we’ll spend a bit of time worshiping and praying for one another and the world around us, too. I encourage you all to join us from wherever you are at this Sunday morning for this important conversation.

The following Sunday, 3/22, we will hold our first virtual Haven Sunday Service. More details on that will be coming soon, but you can be planning for it now. And because March is a 5-Sunday month, we’ll still have a week off between that and our next service on April 5.

Assuming that this new reality of virtual gathering will be with us for the foreseeable future, there is some interest amongst Haven leadership in eventually organizing sites across the Bay Area where small groups (ideally 10 healthy people or less) could gather in homes to watch the live stream of the service together. People could then discuss amongst themselves at the discussion portion of the morning, and enjoy some in-person connection in ways that are less risky to public health. We are open to potentially starting something like this as early as April, but want to hold off on planning these kind of gatherings until we have a better sense of what kind of actions are needed now.

It is also possible that small groups or our new community meal groups could still function in some way (perhaps a hike or picnic in the park). But it might be wise to err on the side of caution and pause for a couple of weeks, at least, or become a fully virtual group, while we all figure this out. I leave it up to your groups to consider what makes sense to you.

What we DO know is important in this time is finding all kinds of ways to take care of one another, even with little physical contact. Jeanne and Phoebe have taken the lead on organizing a Haven Rapid Response Team. During this time of uncertainty, we remember that some members of our community are more physically vulnerable than others and have to take more precautions in public spaces or may need to stay away altogether. This is a time we can show up for each other in meaningful ways. If you might be open to helping do a grocery run, pick up a prescription, call or e-mail to check up on others, or be available for other practical needs, please sign up on this form. And if you have a need for any of those things or anything else a team could support, let us know here.

Finally, as we look for new ways to stay connected to each other, we are going to try using a communication platform called Slack. Jeanne is setting it up and you will get an invite soon (reach out to her if you don’t). You can learn more about Slack and how Jeanne hopes it will help us connect here.

I know this is a lot. The paradigm shifts we are all being asked to navigate are so huge. But I am inviting all of us to take a deep breath, to acknowledge all of our real fear and uncertainty, and also to look to Jesus for grounding and hope. Jesus is the one who encountered contagious illness in his day with care, compassion, and courage. He showed this each time he reached out and touched a person with leprosy, breaking not only the power of their physical ailment, but just as importantly, the social isolation they endured because of it. I believe he is still with us, inviting each of us to bring connection, inclusion, and care to one another. May we find hope and connection with the Divine as we tend to ourselves, our families, and each other in new ways, and may we hold onto the truth that none of us are meant to be alone.

With deep care, Leah

Haven's Response to the COVID-19 Pandemic

March 13 UPDATE: Things have changed since this post was created. Learn about the latest here.

Image credit: nursingschoolsnearme.com/

As I’m sure you’re all aware, the novel coronavirus is upending communal life around the globe in unprecedented ways. Here at Haven, our staff and lay leaders have been monitoring recommendations from public health officials, connecting with staff at Berkeley Unified School District, and consulting with friends and colleagues in other faith communities. We have done all of this with the hope of discerning a wise plan for how to proceed in a way that honors the needs in our spiritual community, as well as serves to slow down the impact of COVID-19 on the community we inhabit.

Currently (as of Wednesday, March 11), Alameda County Public Health recommendations do not include the cancellation of gatherings for communities of our size. Because we are relatively small and meet in a relatively large space, the risk to public health is lower for Haven to gather than it would be for other communities of faith, in which significant numbers of people are congregating close together. The fact that we only meet twice a month as a full group is also helpful. We currently only have one service scheduled in the next three weeks (this Sunday, March 15th). Still, at a time when the spread of this disease is not under control, there are risks to any social gathering. When we gather in person, we will regularly be assessing ways in which we can do this as safely as possible. Specifics on what we currently are planning are listed below. We will also be prepared to cancel in-person gatherings or transition them to virtual-only options if it becomes clear that this action is needed.

While we take seriously the threat of COVID-19 on our community, we also acknowledge that in a time of fear and uncertainty like we are in the midst of, social isolation can carry its own costs and risks. At Haven, we take seriously the need to provide spaces for folks to experience care and support from their spiritual community. We affirm that the Jesus we follow calls us not into fear and self-protection, but into hope, cooperative care and love that is demonstrated in tangible ways to our neighbors. Even in the uncertain times we find ourselves in, we will seek to embody that truth in all that we do.

With all of this in mind, here are the practical strategies we are currently putting into place at Haven.

Community Interactions: For the time being, we will continue holding services, small groups, meal groups, and other in-person gatherings, but we ask folks who are exhibiting cold or flu symptoms to remain at home, so as not to expose others to illness. We also encourage those in high-risk categories (those over 60 or who are immunocompromised) to consider staying home in order to remain safe.

At all in-person gatherings, we will encourage one another to wash hands regularly, particularly around the handling of food. We will be engaging in disinfecting the space before the service, and the school staff is doing the same. We will also encourage a friendly but less-touch oriented way of greeting one another (so perhaps elbow-bumps over handshakes or hugs). At our services, we will have tissue available throughout the space in case folks need them, and if members of Haven have hand sanitizer they want to bring for themselves, or to share with others in the community, we encourage them to bring it.

Because public health professionals are recommending that for “social distancing” people in public remain at least an arm’s length apart, we will arrange our seating accordingly, with more space placed between all of the chairs. We also welcome you to inhabit the room in whatever way feels safe for you, including moving your chair farther away from the group, if preferred.

Sunday Hospitality: For the time being, and out of an abundance of caution, we will temporarily suspend our Sunday bagel service. Instead, we will supply a variety of single-serving, pre-wrapped snacks such as granola bars. We will also have one of our hospitality team members present to serve cups of coffee or hot water (with gloves on), so as to minimize the risk of people spreading germs through our beverage station. You may also consider bringing your own hot beverage in a reusable cup to minimize your risk. If you’d like to have lunch with other Haven-ites after service, we recommend bringing your own lunch from home and enjoying a picnic on the yard (though probably best to refrain from sharing food, if possible).

Communion Service: In the coming Sundays we will serve communion in individual, recyclable plastic cups. We will also have a communion server wearing gloves distribute a gluten-free cracker to each person who would like to take communion. 

Virtual Services: For those who are not able to join us in person we will begin live-streaming our services via Zoom, Facebook Live and Youtube, beginning this Sunday. (Look for links for these to be posted here soon.) We are also working on adding capability for these Sunday webinars to allow for interaction, so that conversations around the sermon topics can still take place. Tech-savvy folks: we are looking for a few volunteers to help manage these virtual webinars on Sundays. If you would consider being a part of this effort, let me know. We can also add Zoom capability to any small group or meal group that would like to have a virtual component to give access to those who are unable to gather in person.

Coronavirus Rapid Response Support: Our connections pastor Jeanne Wong will be taking the lead on launching a rapid response team to attend to needs in the community as they arise. Need someone to take your kids somewhere while you self-isolate? Need help acquiring groceries, or prescription medications? Contact Jeanne and let her know what you need. Please also connect with her if you are open to being a part of this rapid response team that helps meet these needs, as they arise.

Of course much has changed in the past couple of weeks regarding coronavirus, and the leadership of Haven expects that this will continue to be the case. Check this blog for more updates as things unfold. Let me know if you have questions or concerns about anything communicated here. And please, stay safe, stay connected, and join us in praying for one another and our broader community in the days and weeks to come.

- Leah